Advice from Foamy.

http://www.illwillpress.com/rant.html

Sordid Lives

This little gem was ripped from some Livejournal comment:

"good pot makes me barf too scottie. you gotta stick to shwag. one time i got really high at this party and while evan was fucking me i threw up. he was too drunk to notice and just finished. that was really gross."

She's so hip!! Can I be like her?

Lessons from an author.

I'm reading this fabulous sci-fi novel at the moment. Full of political commentary, extreme sexual debauchery, horrific violence.... pretty good stuff. In the midst of all this, I ran into something interesting.

"You feel that way about someone, you go with it. It just makes it tough to get any objectivity on this.."

The guy is talking about love of course. For many, an obscene bane to our existence. Loss of objectivity is just a euphemism for FUCKING STUPID of course. It's such a shame really, how you completely lose your wits when love strikes you. Very unfair, those invisible bonds that are so hard to break since cutting through them is often akin to slicing through your own skin, slowly and deliberately.

All this makes me want the anti-Viagra. I want a wonder drug that will suck every ounce of that urge to find love and all the stupidity and distraction that comes along with it. Once a day, and you're good as gold. Of course, we could make things easier and cheaper with a well placed bullet.

In the stillness of night.

I suffer from a loneliness that tears at the soul. I'm plagued by the memories of my past, they slam into me in icy waves. I'm the victim of an unruly mind.

Friendster

I was looking at Friendster tonight. There is this one person who I check up on from time to time just to see if there is anything new. Sort of like e-stalking, but of course the person in question is none the wiser and doesn't know who I am in any case. The reason I'm so interested in this particular profile, rather than the thousands of others, is that he is, of course, good looking, but also that he grew up near me. He doesn't look exceptionally fruity, and comes across as someone who would "fit in" in spite of being gay. He also happens to be a model, and has traveled from L.A. to NYC to Tokyo. He was on the cover of Cosmo. In all of his pictures he looks happy. All of the testimonials are poignant memories of good times. Reading and seeing all of this leaves a stabbing hollow melancholy in my middle followed by the hysterical urge to open the hollow with a knife. Of course, I click away and the feeling passes, but leaves me wondering....what would it have been like to know someone like that? To be able to get close to that sort of charmed existance. I'll never know, that's for sure.

Dating advice

From Foamy's mouth, to our ears~~

dating advice from a squirrel.

Question, question!

Is it love if it isn't reciprocated? Or just an infatuation?

Funny flash comic. Make sure your sound is on.

Feel this~~

Gotta Knock a Little Harder
Composed and Arranged by Yoko Kanno
Words by Tim Jensen
Vocals by Mai Yamane (5:19)


Happiness is just a word to me
And it might have meant a thing or two
If I'd had known the difference


Emptiness, a lonely parody
And my life, another smokin' gun
A sign of my indifference


Always keepin' safe inside
Where no one ever had a chance
To penetrate or break in


Let me tell you some have tried
But I would slam the door so tight
That they could never get in

Kept my cool under a lock and key
And I never shed a tear
Another sign of my condition

Fear of love or bitter vanity
That kept me on the run
The main events at my confession

I kept a chain upon my door
That would shake the shame of Cain
Into a blind submission

The burning ghost without a name
Was still calling all the same
But I just wouldn't listen

The longer I'd call
The further I'd crawl
The further I'd crawl
the harder I'd fall
I was crawlin' into the fire

The more that I saw
The further I'd fall
The further I'd fall
the lower I'd crawl
I kept fallin' into the fire
Into the fire
Into the fire

Suddenly it occured to me
The reason for the run and hide
Had totaled my existence

Everything left on the other side
could never be much worse than this
But I could go the distance

I face the door and all my shame
Tearin' off each piece of chain
Until they all were broken

But no matter how I tried
The other side was locked up so tight
The door it wouldn't open

Give it all that I got
And started to knock
Shouted for someone
To open the lock
I just gotta get through the door

And the more that I knocked
The hotter I got
The hotter I got
the harder I'd knock
I just gotta break through the door

Gotta knock a little harder
Gotta knock a little harder
Gotta knock a little harder
Break through the door

Ugh!

Today was a completely horrible day, and I can't even really pin point why. I had this huge fight with my sister about her getting involved with some scary shit the day before, and for some reason the entire thing is going around and around in my head like a merry-go-round that I can't get off of. I jump back and forth between not caring because there is nothing I can do about and wanting to be extremely proactive about intervening with what I'm sure is going to be bad news. What has made the entire situation even worse is the fact that when I talked to my mom about the entire thing, she immediately has the whole head in the sand reflex..."Oh, are you sure it's as bad as all that." This kind of shit makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone. Like I'm making shit up for no reason.

So today, I feel like I'm going totally crazy. I can't stop thinking about my sister and I'm completely unnerved by how my mom reacted but I don't really have time to think that much about it because I promised a friend to help her with her computer. Here's the deal about me and computers. I know maybe 1% more than a complete idiot. But of course, all the idiots think I'm brilliant because they don't know shit. So I'm over at my friend's house and she wants me to do all this shit to this computer for her. It's stuff that should be really easy but ends up taking all day long as plan after plan fails. After about six hours I'm so irritated, on top of how aggro I started the day, I just was ready to freak out. Of course this is when my friend's roommate comes home. This roommate is a "real" tech and in five minutes has a solution that I didn't manage to think of ALL DAY. Talk about frustration. This kind of shit makes me want to scream.

People are always saying shit like, you're so smart or you're so good looking. I look in the mirror and I have no fucking idea what they are talking about. It's like this sick joke that everyone but me is in on.

Amazingly, I decided to go to the gym since I felt the need to run off some of my aggravation. The friend I go with happened to call my house and talk to my mom before she got a hold of me on my cell phone. She tells me that when she was talking to my mom, somehow the topic of me living there came up and my mom said something along the lines of not knowing what she would do if I ever moved out.

This is a HUGE ongoing issue for me since I don't really fancy being my age and still living at home. I just find it frightening that she really expects that I will want to stay at home indefinately. It seems to me that any normal parent would find it unhealthy to let their brat stay in the roost way past their childhood expiration date.

I feel like a spectator in life. I wish it would just end, cause I'm sick of watching and too lazy to participate.

Please die! Thanks. =)

WTF?!?

Cuddle Parties

Is this swingers light? I mean how lonely do you have to get before you are willing to pay $20 bucks just to hug some stranger?


Let's sign up!!!

On that note....

Let's hear it for Team Sweatband!!!

Emo Rants

I found this cheesy diary entry on the web from some crazed 15 year old...

Ok this is bad..this is really bad.....I was crying like a little baby all night...I took out my knife and almost cut myself....keyword---almostI ended up stabbing my white teddy bear which I love to death...Now its all cute up and there are little fur thingies flying around the room..now why the hell do I gonna suffer like this? huh? somebody tell me? What the fuck did I do?Did I do something wrong, cause if I did, I wanna know what!!og god, why is this happening to me? Just kill me already!!!!!!!!Don't make me suffer like this, one more night and I swear I'll kill myself, I don't need your help anymore...i looked in the fridge for some beer, just like to get drunk and forget my troubles, but there wasn't any..now what the fuck is happening to me?I gotta seee my goddamn therapist!!I'm not kidding!!!I hate myself!!!You know..I tried to hang myself today..what is this? like my 10th time trying that? omg I almost died, but I just eneded up choking really badly....I have no idea why I'm writing this here, I just don't wanna talk to anyone about this..I'm talking to marty on the phone..I love him to death....i miss him like hell...oh god, I think he's the only person who keeps me sane on this planet....I haven't thought of a suicide in like amonth...what makes this day so special...huh?Just fucking let me die already! what the fuck are you waiting for? huh?

Oh the emotion...kaka

Find me a job!!!

I'm bored and broke, send me that UTA list girlie.



You and me Delf!!